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We just wanted to say Thank you for every prayer and every gift. We are overcome with gratitude for the tremendous amount of support and Love that has been poured out to our family. I wanted to say something but nothing seemed appropriate. So this morning I decided to share what I wrote in Lilly’s journal the night we came home.

"I can still smell her, taste the scent that surrounds everything to do with Miss Lillian Hope. I can still feel the weight of her in my arms. I can still remember the way it felt to kiss her little face, her hands, her feet, the soft feel of her beautiful hair on my cheek, the scent of anointing oil oil on her brow. It's been only hours since I felt the Angels and the presence of the Lord fill her room and take her from me. Daddy and I told her it was ok, go be with Jesus now, but the second she left I knew and I begged God to send her back. This is all wrong! I should be holding you saying "it's alright baby, mommy's here".

But I feel her, I feel her tiny hand on my face. Her tiny voice saying "it's ok mommy."

"But I love you so much baby girl" I say.

"I know mommy" she says.

Is this real? Is she really looking down on us from heaven? Or is this my hearts way of coping? I miss you so much baby! My sweet little girl. I want to be angry. I want to beat my chest and cry why God? Why? But I can't. I don't have the strength or the will. I think of my precious little girl and my heart melts. She just wants us to love each other. Look at all she did in just 4 days of life. Oh God imagine what could have come to pass in a lifetime! How...unknown are your ways...I will never understand!"

So many of you have asked if there is anything you can do for us. All I can ask is that you remember my little Lilly. Remember the Hope and Love that she inspired in your heart. Do not let her life go in vain. Remember her message.

Romans 12

Your love must be real. Hate what is evil, and hold on to what is good. Love each other like brothers and sisters. Give each other more honor than you want for yourselves. Do not be lazy but work hard, serving the Lord with all your heart. Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes, and pray at all times. Share with God’s people who need help. Bring strangers in need into your homes. Wish good for those who harm you; wish them well and do not curse them. Be happy with those who are happy, and be sad with those who are sad. Live in peace with each other. Do not be proud, but make friends with those who seem unimportant. If someone does wrong to you, do not pay him back by doing wrong to him. Do your best to live in peace with everyone. If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. Do not let evil defeat you, but defeat evil by doing good.

This is what she taught me. She reminded me how to love. This is the rest of my journal entry.

"I feel you here with me, little Lilly. My baby girl. My heart aches for you! Even my breasts yearn for you... I love you so very much! You are my precious baby. My beautiful child. I miss you. I love you......"




Lillian Hope. One question has been on every person’s lips that has heard about you and that is…why? I can’t hope to ever know the answer to the question but as Lorri and I have been talking and grieving these past few days a picture has begun to reveal itself to me. I’ve never been one to say that God has shown me anything or talked to me directly because I’ve never felt like He has. However, this picture is different, I believe that it is Him trying to help comfort Lorri and myself, trying to give us some kind of peace. When Lillian was born, she had no vitals and it took 10 minutes of continual resuscitation to get her stable. During those ten minutes I believe that Lillian was with Jesus, not feeling any pain, but complete calm and peace. I feel like she asked Him what was happening and with sadness in His eyes He told her what was going to happen over the next 4 days. I feel like when He looked at her, He did so with such love and compassion that words cannot begin to describe it. I don’t know what He said specifically but I was drawn to the following verses that I feel come close.


Jeremiah 1:5-8


Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” “Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declared the Lord.”


After they spoke I believe He held her close and they both cried. He then placed her back into her body as she was now prepared for the battle. Upon hearing the news that my baby was in trouble I began reaching out. I only put a small post on my Facebook page requesting prayer. I never realized how far that fire would spread. Every day I continually receive messages of prayer and hope from those that I know and those that I’ll never meet face to face. First, friends of mine reposted on their pages to ask for prayer, asking people that had no idea who Lorri, Isaac, Lillian and I were. Then those people reposted, and uncounted others. On top of that we received word that churches from Florida, Georgia, Kentucky, Illinois, Colorado and many other states and locations were praying for our little angel. Friends received letters letting them know that people were praying, the phone calls seemed to never end, I’m rather surprised that my phone is still working as much as it was vibrating! Not only that, I made a few phone calls, one to my family, one to Lorri’s and one to our Pastor Doug. We had an endless flood of people arriving what seemed like hourly to pray for our little girl. So much so that a nurse looked in awe and said she had never seen such an outpouring of support. To top it all off someone said that the radio station K-LOVE was requesting prayer for our family and for the healing of Hope. That radio station reaches thousands if not millions of people. How many thousands of people our little girl touched.

With the huge support there came another side, attack. It felt like at every step of the way our Dr.’s would tell us how there was no chance of survival and it might be best to just stop all support now and hold her. It got so bad that in her last day a Dr. came in and had the nerve to say that the angel of death was coming. Now, I’ve never been one to say that a spiritual battle was taking place but God revealed to me what was happening. As the faith that Lillian Hope spread grew stronger and stronger, hour by hour, the enemies’ fear of that Hope grew too. We were continually asked if we just wanted to hold her, to end the fight, end the support. I look back on those attempts by the enemy to silence our daughter and the Hope and Faith that she spread, and laugh. How pathetic is the enemy of our souls that it would fear a little girl of 8 lbs? The little girl that never uttered a cry was speaking to so many people and spreading so much Hope and Faith that the enemy was scared. She was doing more for the Kingdom of God in her 84 hours than most people do in a lifetime. Finally, God said it was time, and sent His angels and Jesus down to carry our little girl to Heaven.


Lillian Hope Topping, my perfect butterfly, my little angel, my little girl. I miss you so much and love you more than you’ll ever know. When you entered this world, a light came on that was missing, and even though you are with Jesus now, that light still shines bright. How many have you touched, how many lives have you changed? Here’s just one example of the things I have seen and I don’t think that the author will mind if I repeat it here.


I'm a cynic by nature, often dismissive of these kinds of appeals on Facebook. I don't have the strong, confident faith of others and pray reluctantly and infrequently. The truth is it's been a long time since I've had faith in god or humanity. But I find this response overwhelming; as the rest of you, I've asked all my friends to pray for Lillian. People all over the world who will likely never get to meet the Toppings are praying, sending loving, warm thoughts; strangers praying for strangers. And I'm left to think that, perhaps, there is hope for humanity. Lillian has already taught me so much in her first few days: the power of prayer, the potential of humanity, the kindness of strangers. Perhaps there is a god after all; certainly this experience gives me faith that Lillian will have many more years to keep on teaching me. That's my prayer, anyway, because I think I still have a lot to learn from this little angel.”

This was just one of many posts I’ve seen and heard. My Lilly, you touched so many people, the change you brought about we won’t know the extent of until we join you in Heaven. You changed my life baby, you showed me the man I’m supposed to be, you changed me little girl. 21 inches of pure beauty and grace, you saved me. You healed me. Your strength inspires me. I’ll never forget you. I wrote a poem that I’d like to share.


My Lilly


A perfect Lilly bloomed inside my wife, the most beautiful child filled with life
You make my heart overflow with love, now wrapped in Jesus’ arms above
I’ll never forget you my darling girl, and how you made our hearts and minds whirl
The love and faith you spread around, without ever needing to make a sound
You’re perfect, pure, Godly and grace, and you’ll always bring a smile to our face


So now, what do we do? We can only take each day, each hour, moment by moment. However, we can do one more thing. We can never forget. Never forget how you felt when you saw her. Never forget how you felt when you prayed for her. Never forget the faith that she brought to your life, let it grow. Don’t let the enemy tempt you away from God’s arms. Let Lilly’s light shine and through that light your faith and Hope for all of us and this world. We live in a broken world but the heavens are open to us. God said He would always be there for us, and He is. A song I’ve listened to more times in the past few days than I can remember says “In Christ there are no goodbyes.” So, I’m not saying goodbye to Lillian Hope Topping. I’m saying I love you, I miss you, and I’ll see you soon. Mommy and Daddy will never forget…


Life Celebration for Lillian Hope Topping
Febuary 28, 2012

Words From Kevin Hoffman
Inserts From Joy Harvey

I am (Kevin is) away at school this week and was asked to share with you today,
these are his words for you ...

Many of you have been praying for baby Lillian Hope, and parents Casey and
. Many of you came to the hospital on visits to pray for her healing, and to
encourage her parents and other family members present to support them

This was not the outcome that we had hoped for, prayed for, believed God for -
on Tuesday Casey and Lorri told me about placing Lillian in the Lord's hands and
ing Him for the results. Though the results are different than what we
envisioned, she has been released from suffering and no longer has to fight for
life as she was joyfully received into the arms of her loving Savior Thursday
morning to spend eternity with Him! In her short little life, Lillian was used to bring
many people together in faith to pray, to cry out to the Lord; and it was not in
We are different because of what we have experienced in prayer! That was
and is Lillian's gift to us

We had the privilege to anoint Lillian with oil; to place a prayer cloth on her to
remind us all of the presence of the Lord; and we also baptized her in water on
ednesday night. I shared with those gathered that since baptism is a
sacrament, it was a sacred time in the life of parents Casey
& Lorri; baby Lillian,
and the r
est of the family. I explained that we do not believe that baptism imparts
the regenerating grace of God to a child
. We do believe that Christ gave this
holy sacrament as a sign and seal of the new covenant in Christ
; just as
ision was a sign of the old covenant in Israel, water baptism is the sign of
the new covenant in Christ
. I also shared with them that Christian baptism
signifies for Lillian, God's gracious acceptance on the basis of His grace,
acknowledging God's grace at work in Lillian's life, marking her for His K



At the baptismal service I shared with the family a few scriptures and these
thoughts ....

In Luke 18:15 it says "People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him
touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. But Jesus called
the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me
 and do not hinder
em, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

Jesus loves the infants and children. He welcomes the wee ones into his arms.
can just picture that scene where Jesus sits in the m
idst of chaos. Today it may
be similar to "rock star" sitting and parents clamoring to have th
eir child sit upon
his lap, they await with their cameras and iphones for the perfect picture to place
on facebook to share this brief moment in time with all their family and friends.

In the midst of all this, Jesus takes the smallest of small and very tenderly holds
that child in his arms
. Caressing and rocking this baby and whispering to them "I
ove you and I am so delighted with you."

Jesus knew the delight of our Father and he wants to pass that on to us. In Luke
3 it records the baptism of Jesus.

It reads, "When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And
as he was praying, heaven opened and the Holy Sprit descended on Him in
bodily form like a
dove. And a voice came from heaven: You are my son, whom
I love; with you I am
 well pleased."

In that very moment the Father, Son and Holy Sprit were there. It was the same
when we baptized Lillian Hope with water. At that very moment we were
connected to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit
. In the arms of Jesus your daughter
laid and His Spirit brought peace and comforl into her room. It was as though the
Father said
, "This is my daughter, whom I love, with her I  am well pleased."


Without knowledge of our baptismal service, two colleagues wrote the following
and sent them to me
(Kevin) on Thursday afternoon -

Rebecca wrote: "We prayed for the family on Tuesday. I asked the Lord where
He was in the room. I saw Him holding baby Lillian and making a complete turn
around as He faced each member of the family, holding up the baby.
It reminded
me of a person holding up a ring at a wedding as a sign of covenant
. Your words
that Lillian is in Jesus' arms was what I saw. I find comfort in knowing He wanted
the family to have assurance that He holds all things together, that He made a
covenant with this family and the child is with Him
. It doesn't take away the pain
or loss
. It was just clear He was holding the child and that He was in their midst."

Elizabeth wrote: "On Tuesday, as Rebecca prayed out of the vision shared
I saw Baby Lillian clothed in a flowing white gown - it reminded me of the
Baptismal gowns that many parents dress their babies in when they're baptized
... I sensed that what I saw was part of Rebecca's vision
, and I too had a sense
of covenant and promise."

There are unanswered questions that fill our minds and hearts at a time like this,
especially the "Why?" question. No answer is adequate; and that a better
question to ask is "How?" ..
. "How do I lean into God
now?" A response is found
in Psalm 91 :1-2 - "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the
shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, 'He is my refuge and my fortress
my God, in whom I trust''' (NIV). We can choose to dwell in God because that's
where Jesus is and that
's where Lillian is, resting in Him. He is still the Faithful
One who promises to be our refuge and our fortress. We can choose to trust Him
with all that we are, for all that we need!

When many disciples were deserting Jesus, He asked the Twelve if they too
would leave Him and Peter said, "Lord
, to whom shall we go? You have the
words of eternal life" (
John 6:68). We can choose to live without God in the pain
of our disappointment, or
with God in the pain of our disappointment ... I choose
God, and invite you to also choose God
as He is the "Father of all compassion,
the God of all Comfort"
(2 Corinthians 1 :3) .



In 1960 a familiar poem was written by a mother and published in a book called
Say and Seal

In 1962 a father took this endearing poem and published a storybook to comfort
dying child and her family.

This story has become a great hymn that is song in every language, on every
continent in every church
. The resounding truth of the song is that "Jesus loves

Following the baptismal on Wednesday night. I went to the side of Lillian's bed
and caressed her hand. I started to sing to her ..

"Jesus loves you this I know, for the Bible tells me so, Little ones to Him belong,
they are weak but he is s

Lorri came up beside me and joined me in singing this song that she had song to
comfort her daughter through out her days. Togethe
r we caressed her daughter.

"Yes, Jesus loves you. Yes, Jesus loves you. Yes, Jesus loves you.
The Bible tells me so."


Jesus loves me! This I know,
As He loved so long ago
Taking children on His knee,
"Let them come to Me."

Jesus loves me! He who died
's gate to open wide;
He will wash away my sin,
Let His little child come in.

Jesus loves me! Loves me still
' l'm very weak and ill;
t I might from sin be free
Bled and
died upon the tree.

us loves me! He will stay
Close bes
ide me all the way;
Thou hast bled and died for me,
will henceforth live for Thee.




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